Chapter 5 Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes

set upon spun faster and faster, elbows tucked tightly to his sides, blurred fireplaces flashing past him, until he started to feel sick and closed his eyes. Then, when at last he felt himself slowing graduate, he threw emerge his hands and came to a halt in period to pr face himself from f exclusivelying face forward extinct of the Weasleys kitchen fire.Did he eat it? verbalize Fred excitedly, holding out a hand to pull Harry to his feet.Yeah, verbalize Harry, straightening up. What was it?Ton-Tongue Toffee, express Fred brightly. George and I invented them, and weve been looking for for person to test them on whole summer.The tiny kitchen explode with laughter Harry looked around and saw that Ron and George were sitting at the scrubbed wooden table with dickens red-haired people Harry had never seen before, though he knew immediately who they must be file and Charlie, the dickens eldest Weasley brothers.Howre you doing, Harry? said the nearer of the two, grinning at h im and holding out a mountainous hand, which Harry shook, feeling c entirelyuses and blisters under his fingers. This had to be Charlie, who worked with dragons in Romania. Charlie was built bid the twins, shorter and stockier than Percy and Ron, who were both vast and lanky. He had a broad, good-natured face, which was weather-beaten and so freckly that he looked roughly tanned his arms were muscular, and one of them had a large, shiny burn on it.Bill got to his feet, smiling, and also shook Harrys hand. Bill came as something of a surprise. Harry knew that he worked for the wizarding aver, Gringotts, and that Bill had been Head Boy at Hogwarts Harry had al elans imagined Bill to be an older version of Percy fussy around rule-breaking and fond of bossing ein truthone around. However, Bill was there was no other word for it cool. He was tall, with long hair that he had tied back in a ponytail. He was erosion an earring with what looked like a fang dangling from it. Bills c lothes would non have looked out of place at a jolt concert, except that Harry recognized his boots to be wane, non of leather, entirely of dragon hide.Before some(prenominal) of them could advance anything else, there was a faint popping noise, and Mr. Weasley appeared out of thin air at Georges shoulder. He was looking angrier than Harry had ever seen him.That wasnt funny Fred he shouted. What on earth did you eat that Muggle boy?I didnt give him anything, said Fred, with another evil grin. I only if dropped it.It was his fault he went and ate it, I never told him to.You dropped it on purpose roared Mr. Weasley. You knew hed eat it, you knew he was on a diet -How big did his tongue blend? George asked eagerly.It was four feet long before his parents would let me shrink itHarry and the Weasleys roared with laughter again.It isnt funny Mr. Weasley shouted. That demeanor of mien seriously undermines wizard-Muggle relations I spend half my life campaigning against the mist reatment of Muggles, and my own sonsWe didnt give it to him because hes a Muggle said Fred indignantly.No, we gave it to him because hes a great bullying git, said George. Isnt he, Harry?Yeah, he is, Mr. Weasley, said Harry earnestly.Thats not the point raged Mr. Weasley. You wait until I tell your mother -Tell me what? said a voice l beakife them.Mrs. Weasley had plainly entered the kitchen. She was a short, plump woman with a rattling kind face, though her eyes were concisely narrowed with suspicion.Oh hello, Harry, dear, she said, spotting him and smiling. Then her eyes snapped back to her husband. Tell me what, Arthur?Mr. Weasley hesitated. Harry could tell that, however barbaric he was with Fred and George, he hadnt truly intended to tell Mrs. Weasley what had happened. There was a silence, composition Mr. Weasley eyed his married woman nervously. Then two girls appeared in the kitchen doorway behind Mrs. Weasley. One, with very bushy brown hair and sooner large front te eth, was Harrys and Rons friend, Hermione Granger. The other, who was small and red-haired, was Rons younger sister, Ginny. Both of them smiled at Harry, who grinned back, which made Ginny go scarlet she had been very taken with Harry ever since his first visit to the Burrow.Tell me what, Arthur? Mrs. Weasley repeated, in a dangerous sort of voice.Its nothing, Molly, mumbled Mr. Weasley, Fred and George except but Ive had words with them -What have they done this time? said Mrs. Weasley. If its got anything to do with Weasleys Wizard Wheezes -why dont you show Harry where hes sleeping, Ron? said Hermione from the doorway.He k presentlys where hes sleeping, said Ron, in my room, he slept there last -We run all go, said Hermione pointedly.Oh, said Ron, cottoning on. Right.Yeah, well come too, said George.You stay where you are snarled Mrs. Weasley.Harry and Ron inch out of the kitchen, and they, Hermione, and Ginny set off along the narrow hallway and up the rickety staircase th at zigzagged done the house to the upper stories.What are Weasleys Wizard Wheezes? Harry asked as they climbed.Ron and Ginny both laughed, although Hermione didnt.mammy found this megabucks of order forms when she was cleaning Fred and Georges room, said Ron quietly. Great long price lists for stuff theyve invented. Joke stuff, you know. Fake wands and fancy sweets, loads of stuff. It was brilliant, I never knew theyd been inventing all thatWeve been hearing explosions out of their room for ages, but we never theme they were actually fashioning things, said Ginny. We thought they just liked the noise.Only, most of the stuff well, all of it, very was a bit dangerous, said Ron, and, you know, they were planning to sell it at Hogwarts to make some money, and Mum went mad at them. Told them they werent allowed to make any practically of it, and burned all the order forms.Shes furious at them anyway. They didnt stun as many O.W.L.s as she expected.O.W.L.s were Ordinary Wizardi ng Levels, the examinations Hogwarts students took at the age of fifteen.And then there was this big row, Ginny said, because Mum wants them to go into the Ministry of Magic like Dad, and they told her all they want to do is open a joke shop. unspoiled then a door on the second landing opened, and a face poked out wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a very annoyed expression.Hi, Percy, said Harry.Oh hello, Harry, said Percy. I was wondering who was making all the noise. Im trying to work in here, you know Ive got a report to finish for the office and its earlier difficult to concentrate when people handgrip thundering up and grim the stairs.Were not thundering, said Ron irritably. Were walking. inexorable if weve disturbed the top-secret workings of the Ministry of Magic.What are you working on? said Harry.A report for the section of International Magical Cooperation, said Percy smugly. Were trying to standardize cauldron thickness. Some of these foreign imports are just a shade t oo thin leakages have been increasing at a rate of almost three percent a yr -Thatll change the world, that report will, said Ron. Front page of the routine Prophet, I expect, cauldron leaks.Percy went slightly pink.You might sneer, Ron, he said heatedly, but unless some sort of world(prenominal) law is imposed we might well square up the market flooded with flimsy, shallow-bottomed products that seriously endanger -Yeah, yeah, all right, said Ron, and he started off upstairs again. Percy slammed his bedroom door shut. As Harry, Hermione, and Ginny followed Ron up three much flights of stairs, shouts from the kitchen below echoed up to them. It sounded as though Mr. Weasley had told Mrs. Weasley about the toffees.The room at the top of the house where Ron slept looked oftentimes as it had the last time that Harry had come to stay the same posters of Rons favorite Quidditch team, the Chudley Cannons, were whirling and undulation on the walls and sloping ceiling, and the fish tank on the windowsill, which had previously held frog spawn, now contained one super large frog. Rons old rat, Scabbers, was here no more, but instead there was the tiny gray owl that had delivered Rons letter to Harry in Privet Drive. It was hopping up and down in a small cage and twittering madly. fold up, Pig, said Ron, edging his way between two of the four beds that had been squeezed into the room. Fred and George are in here with us, because Bill and Charlie are in their room, he told Harry. Percy begins to keep his room all to himself because hes got to work.Er why are you job that owl Pig? Harry asked Ron.Because hes being stupid person, said Ginny, Its proper name is Pigwidgeon.Yeah, and thats not a stupid name at all, said Ron sarcastically. Ginny named him, he explained to Harry. She reckons its sweet. And I tried to change it, but it was too late, he wont answer to anything else. So now hes Pig. Ive got to keep him up here because he annoys Errol and Hermes. He an noys me too, come to that.Pigwidgeon zoomed jubilantly around his cage, hooting shrilly. Harry knew Ron too well to take him seriously. He had moaned continually about his old rat, Scabbers, but had been most upset when Hermiones cat, Crookshanks, appeared to have eaten him.Wheres Crookshanks? Harry asked Hermione now.Out in the garden, I expect, she said. He likes chasing gnomes. Hes never seen any before.Percys enjoying work, then? said Harry, sitting down on one of the beds and watching the Chudley Cannons zooming in and out of the posters on the ceiling.Enjoying it? said Ron darkly. I dont reckon hed come home if Dad didnt make him. Hes obsessed. Just dont possess him onto the airfield of his boss. According to Mr. condescendas I was verbalise to Mr. crease Mr. crease is of the opinionMr. Crouch was notification meTheyll be announcing their engagement any day now.Have you had a good summer, Harry? said Hermione. Did you get our food parcels and everything?Yeah, thanks a l ot, said Harry. They saved my life, those cakes.And have you heard from -? Ron began, but at a look from Hermione he fell silent. Harry knew Ron had been about to ask about Sirius. Ron and Hermione had been so deeply touch in stand bying Sirius escape from the Ministry of Magic that they were almost as concerned about Harrys god grow as he was. However, discussing him in front of Ginny was a bad idea. Nobody but themselves and Professor Dumbledore knew about how Sirius had escaped, or believed in his innocence.I cerebrate theyve stopped arguing, said Hermione, to c everywhere the awkward moment, because Ginny was looking curiously from Ron to Harry. Shall we go down and help your mum with dinner?Yeah, all right, said Ron. The four of them left Rons room and went back downstair to find Mrs. Weasley alone in the kitchen, looking exceedingly bad-tempered.Were eating out in the garden, she said when they came in. Theres just not room for eleven people in here. Could you take the pla tes outside, girls? Bill and Charlie are setting up the tables. Knives and forks, please, you two, she said to Ron and Harry, pointing her wand a weensy more vigorously than she had intended at a cumulation of tateres in the sink, which shot out of their skins so fast that they ricocheted off the walls and ceiling.Oh for heavens sake, she snapped, now directing her wand at a dustpan, which hopped off the sideboard and started skating across the floor, scooping up the potatoes. Those two she burst out savagely, now pulling pots and pans out of a cupboard, and Harry knew she meant Fred and George. I dont know whats going to happen to them, I in truth dont. No ambition, unless you count making as much dither as they possibly can.Mrs. Weasley slammed a large copper saucepan down on the kitchen table and began to wave her wand around inside it. A creamy sauce poured from the wand tip as she stirred.Its not as though they havent got brains, she continued irritably, winning the sauce pan over to the stove and lighting it with a further poke of her wand, but theyre wasting them, and unless they pull themselves unitedly soon, theyll be in real trouble. Ive had more owls from Hogwarts about them than the rest put together. If they carry on the way theyre going, theyll end up in front of the Improper Use of Magic Office.Mrs. Weasley jabbed her wand at the cutting tool drawer, which shot open. Harry and Ron both jumped out of the way as several knives soared out of it, flew across the kitchen, and began chopping the potatoes, which had just been tipped back into the sink by the dustpan.I dont know where we went wrong with them, said Mrs. Weasley, putting down her wand and starting to pull out still more saucepans. Its been the same for years, one thing later on another, and they wont listen to OH NOT AGAINShe had picked up her wand from the table, and it had emitted a loud squeak and turned into a giant rubber mouse.One of their fake wands again she shouted. How many times have I told them not to leave them lying around?She grabbed her real wand and turned around to find that the sauce on the stove was smoking.Cmon, Ron said hurriedly to Harry, seizing a handful of cutlery from the open drawer, lets go and help Bill and Charlie.They left Mrs. Weasley and headed out the back door into the yard.They had only gone a few paces when Hermiones arched ginger cat, Crookshanks, came pelting out of the garden, bottle-brush tail held high in the air, chasing what looked like a muddy potato on legs. Harry recognized it instantly as a gnome. Barely ten inches high, its horny little feet pattered very fast as it sprinted across the yard and dived headlong into one of the Wellington boots that lay separate around the door. Harry could hear the gnome giggling madly as Crookshanks inserted a paw into the boot, trying to surpass it. Meanwhile, a very loud crashing noise was coming from the other side of the house. The source of the commotion was revealed as they entered the garden, and saw that Bill and Charlie both had their wands out, and were making two battered old tables fly high in a higher place the lawn, smashing into each other, each attempting to knock the others out of the air. Fred and George were cheering, Ginny was laugh, and Hermione was hovering near the hedge, apparently torn between sport and anxiety.Bills table caught Charlies with a huge bang and knocked one of its legs off. There was a clatter from overhead, and they all looked up to see Percys head poking out of a window on the second floor.Will you keep it down? he bellowed.Sorry, Perce, said Bill, grinning. Howre the cauldron bottoms coming on?Very badly, said Percy peevishly, and he slammed the window shut. Chuckling, Bill and Charlie directed the tables safely onto the grass, end to end, and then, with a flick of his wand, Bill reattached the table leg and conjured tablecloths from nowhere.By seven oclock, the two tables were groaning under dishes and dis hes of Mrs. Weasleys excellent cooking, and the nine Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione were settling themselves down to eat beneath a clear, deep-blue sky. To somebody who had been living on meals of increasingly stale cake all summer, this was paradise, and at first, Harry listened instead than talked as he helped himself to chicken and ham pie, boiled potatoes, and salad.At the far end of the table, Percy was sexual relation his father all about his report on cauldron bottoms.Ive told Mr. Crouch that Ill have it ready by Tuesday, Percy was saying pompously. Thats a bit sooner than he expected it, but I like to keep on top of things. I think hell be grateful Ive done it in good time, I mean, its highly busy in our department just now, what with all the arrangements for the World Cup. Were just not getting the support we need from the Department of Magical Games and Sports. Ludo Bagman -I like Ludo, said Mr. Weasley mildly. He was the one who got us such good tickets for the Cup. I di d him a bit of a favor His brother, Otto, got into a spot of trouble a lawnmower with unnatural powers I smoothed the whole thing over.Oh Bagmans likable enough, of course, said Percy dismissively, but how he ever got to be Head of Departmentwhen I compare him to Mr. Crouch I cant see Mr. Crouch losing a member of our department and not trying to find out whats happened to them. You realize Bertha Jorkins has been missing for over a month now? Went on holiday to Albania and never came back?Yes, I was asking Ludo about that, said Mr. Weasley, frowning. He says Berthas gotten lost plenty of times before now though must say, if it was someone in my department, Id be worried.Oh Berthas hopeless, all right, said Percy. I hear shes been shunted from department to department for years, much more trouble than shes worthbut all the same, Bagman ought to be trying to find her. Mr. Crouch has been taking a personal interest, she worked in our department at one time, you know, and I think Mr . Crouch was quite fond of her but Bagman just keeps laughing and saying she probably misread the single-valued function and ended up in Australia instead of Albania. However Percy heaved an impressive sigh and took a deep draft copy of elderflower wine weve got quite enough on our plates at the Department of International Magical Cooperation without trying to find members of other departments too. As you know, weve got another big event to organize right after the World Cup.Percy clean his throat significantly and looked down toward the end of the table where Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting. You know the one Im talking about, Father. He raise his voice slightly. The top-secret one.Ron rolled his eyes and muttered to Harry and Hermione, Hes been trying to get us to ask what that event is ever since he started work. Probably an exhibition of thick-bottomed cauldrons.In the middle of the table, Mrs. Weasley was arguing with Bill about his earring, which seemed to be a rec ent acquisition.with a horrible great fang on it. Really, Bill, what do they say at the bank?Mum, no one at the bank gives a damn how I dress as long as I bring home plenty of treasure, said Bill patiently.And your hairs getting silly, dear, said Mrs. Weasley, thumb her wand lovingly. I wish youd let me give it a trim.I like it, said Ginny, who was sitting beside Bill. Youre so old-fashioned, Mum. Anyway, its nowhere near as long as Professor Dumbledores.Next to Mrs. Weasley, Fred, George, and Charlie were all talking spiritedly about the World Cup.Its got to be Ireland, said Charlie thickly, through a mouthful of potato. They flattened Peru in the semifinals.Bulgaria has got Viktor Krum, though, said Fred.Krums one decent player, Ireland has got seven, said Charlie shortly. I wish England had got through. That was embarrassing, that was.What happened? said Harry eagerly, regretting more than ever his isolation from the wizarding world when he was stuck on Privet Drive.Went down t o Transylvania, three hundred and ninety to ten, said Charlie gloomily. Shocking performance. And Wales lost to Uganda, and Scotland was slaughtered by Luxembourg.Harry had been on the Gryffindor star sign Quidditch team ever since his first year at Hogwarts and owned one of the best racing brooms in the world, a Firebolt. Flying came more naturally to Harry than anything else in the magical world, and he played in the position of Seeker on the Gryffindor House team.Mr. Weasley conjured up candles to light the darkening garden before they had their homemade strawberry ice cream, and by the time they had finished, moths were fluttering low over the table, and the warm air was perfumed with the smells of grass and honeysuckle. Harry was feeling extremely well fed and at peace with the world as he watched several gnomes sprinting through the rosebushes, laughing madly and closely pursued by Crookshanks.Ron looked carefully up the table to check that the rest of the family were all bu sy talking, then he said very quietly to Harry, So have you heard from Sirius tardily?Hermione looked around, listening closely.Yeah, said Harry softly, twice. He sounds okay. I wrote to him yesterday. He might write back while Im here.He suddenly remembered the reason he had written to Sirius, and for a moment was on the verge of telling Ron and Hermione about his scar hurting again, and about the dream that had awoken himbut he really didnt want to engross them just now, not when he himself was feeling so happy and peaceful.Look at the time, Mrs. Weasley said suddenly, checking her wristwatch. You really should be in bed, the whole lot of you youll be up at the crack of dawn to get to the Cup. Harry, if you leave your school list out, Ill get your things for you tomorrow in Diagon Alley. Im getting everyone elses. There might not be time after the World Cup, the match went on for five days last time. riot hope it does this time said Harry enthusiastically.Well, I certainly don t, said Percy sanctimoniously. I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days.Yeah, someone might moorage dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce? said Fred.That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway said Percy, going very red in the face. It was nothing personalIt was, Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. We sent it.